Dear Sandra Bland,

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Dear Sandra Bland,

Now, I understand you like I did not before. Now, I know what you were up against.

Shamefully, I have been fighting the same system as you have, and I was colorblinded by Whiteness to believe that I could overcome racism. That if I showed White people how good and how smart that I was, I would break the barriers and gain the same opportunities as them. In my experience of proving myself, I lost touch with my Blackness and began forgetting that Whiteness was affecting me in ways that I fully realized has never went away.

At 10:15 p.m. after having fun at a hockey game with my boyfriend, I was stopped by the local police. We saw flashing blue lights behind us, and we realized that it was my car that he wanted to stop. I slowed down and decided to pull into a KFC parking lot. At the time, I did not know that it would be a safe point. Or maybe a point where there could be witnesses. I never thought of it that way, but it chills me to the bone to think about it now.

I rolled down my window. The police officer asks me…”Do you know why I stopped you?” I responded back in curious shock, “No, officer, I do not know why.” Reason being: I wasn’t speeding through town. If anything, I was going the exact speed limit and being very careful because it was a busy section in this part of town, and it is at night. There are a lot of folks who walk and bike in our town, and I don’t want to be the one responsible for an accident and it on my conscience. I’ve been living in this town for three years consecutively, and I know what the walking and biking population are like. Drivers aren’t usually fond with them sometimes, and I know that it is not always drivers’ fault. Yet, I have started remembering my roots about walking and biking because I was a poor Black kid from a rural country town, and it is hard to track and ride when there are more cars than you in the same area you occupy.

Anyway, the officer continues asking me, “Who car is this?” I said, “Mines.” He asked, “What is your name?” I said in a pleasant voice, “Sophia Flemming.” “When did you get this car registered?” I answered him that I bought the car two months ago, and I had my tag put on there then. And then he asked me for my driver’s license. When he looked, he said, “Your birthday passed. You were supposed to renew your license on your birthday.” I told him that I thought that my registration was good for next year. For those who know me, I don’t play with the law. I file my taxes on time and pay my taxes. I make sure that my registration is renewed on time. In our country, this is what is expected for us to inhabit it.

But what last night taught me is that…it doesn’t matter, does it, to a certain extent when it comes to police authority, and I finally understood Sandra Bland and how her death came about. You see, there are some ways, as a Black woman, I am fortunate. Somehow, that poor Welfare Black girl from a small rural racist and segregated town fought her way to go to college and obtained her BA degree. Somehow that poor Welfare Black girl entered into graduate school and started taking graduate courses. Somehow that poor Welfare Black girl got a job at a well-known university and got a full time job with benefits and is taking doctoral courses now to help her finish her graduate work with her MA degree and to start a PhD program.

However, last night, it didn’t matter. Why? It didn’t matter because as a Black woman I viewed my life at risk. A White police officer stops me. He stops me because he is able to RUN license plate numbers. Police officers even have technology where they can scan people’s tags and get an alert when registration expires (http://www.clatl.com/news/article/13071731/what-is-your-license-plate-telling-police). And what is my point of this?

My point is that there are parts of me that are you, Sandy Bland. You can see our stories are similar in many ways. We both attended college. We both graduated from college. We both are similar in age. We both believed in justice for all people.

Yet, the huge difference is. I am starting to see it. Being fortunate. I am more fortunate than you as a Black woman. I don’t have a record of misdemeanors. I am able to pay for my citation, so I can stay out of jail. Somehow, I have navigated my life in a way that I’ve been fortunate not to be jailed, to be label as a pariah by White people, and to be able to still breathe.

Yet, you and I are still similar in the same. I, too, when I finished my BA degree and attended graduate school, I had a rough time finding a full time job. I struggled, and I was depressed. It was difficult to navigate the waters. If you examine my resume, I have consistently worked since 2000—part time. Some Black folk even haven’t had the consistency as I have. I’ve also had a significant other to help out, but it has come with many prices. Those prices were losing a lot of my self-worth as a proud Flemming. What it really was as a proud Black woman, I discovered that I am not invincible. I am not a Black wonder super woman. I am vulnerable and not immune to the cruelties of Whiteness. Those same White characteristics I’ve adapted: the way I carry myself, the way I talk, the way I walk, and the way I act…doesn’t matter when a White male police officer pulls me over for a traffic violation. I want people to know this is not about me COMPLAINING ABOUT a traffic violation. I get it. I violated the law unintentionally by not seeing in time that I need to renew my registration. Yes, I will pay my fine because it is the law, and Monday morning, I will get my registration and pay for it.

What this is about is bigger than me and is about me. What this is about is that I finally understand that none of us people of color are immune to the dangerous of Whiteness when it comes to its authority. White people have more authority than us. They matter MORE THAN US. They have mattered in this country and even other countries for centuries. Aryan races have nearly decimated cultures (Hitler and the Holocaust) because they know that they have a superiority card. Superiority in human beings is an evil practice because it causes people to commit harmful and even horrendous acts.

The very laws that are supposed to protect all of us only protect and benefit some of us. I was in your place last night. What if I was a little sassy with that cop? What if I began questioning why he was pulling me over? What if I didn’t say good evening office, how you doing?” What if I didn’t comply the way that was expected to not cause harm? I got a little taste of the bigger bitterness you experience on a consistent basis.

I don’t want to keep having this fear…and this stress of being afraid of officers, but I know that if I don’t compile as much as possible, I may be put in a jail cell. Or my life a threat to where I may get a bullet in me. That’s is horrifying. I can’t imagine what you final moments were in that jail cell. I am sure that you were scared, and you felt so alone. Tears are pouring down my face because it hurts. It hurts to know that you died with all kinds of thoughts circling your head. Maybe feeling like no one loved you. In my pain, I understand your struggles because there are parts of me that am you. All Black women are you. We struggle every day to continue to prove over and over again that we exist. That we matter. We have always mattered. Your life didn’t mattered that day, and it was taken. It is sad that you are gone, and I can see you now.

I want to live over a hundred years old and look back at these times as being an agent of change. And I will get there. I claim it, and I will make it. But, I struggle with what happened to me yesterday. A routine stop to give me a ticket so the system can keep making money off my Black body. You were continually stopped and continually had fines on your Black head that you could not pay because you did not have steady income. You struggled with your Black self-esteem because our system continues to take and take until…what…we are tired. Folks are trying to claim us one way or the other: get our bodies and/or destroy our souls. The psychological warfare is deadlier than physical violent one.

Lesson learned: I will keep breathing because it is a part of the destiny that I have determined for myself. Other lesson learned: I have to keep breathing for you, Sandy. You and other thousands of Black women and their lives…I have to be accounted for while I am still breathing. The veil has been lifted from my eyes. I have to do my part and not hide. I have to show that our lives matter. Our stories matter so we can live in a country where we don’t need to hold our breath. That we can inhale and exhale for ourselves, our children, and our country. That Black women are not a threat. We have been exploited for so long, but we belong in this country as well. We are valuable to this country. Our contributions of valuable. I am a storyteller first and foremost. Our stories are important. My story is important and yours is. Our peace is important as well. We want to co-exist with everyone peacefully and live our lives to the fullest. A part of that is recognizing that system of Whiteness harms all of us. Not just Black women. White folks. Black folks. All people of color. How are supposed to become a stronger nation when we continued to be racially divided and certain folks are looked upon as their lives not being as valuable as theirs?

The one that will continue to keep breathing and make it to over a hundred,
Sophia

Lewis-1 and Ryan-0

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Publicist stunt! Paul Ryan, Republican House Speaker, “laid into Democrats on Thursday for causing ‘chaos’ in the House, dismissing their sit-in over gun legislation as nothing more than a publicity student and fundraising effort” (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/paul-ryan-democrats-sit-in_us_576c084ee4b0b489bb0c9b02). Led by the Civil Rights freedom fighter John Lewis, Democrats decided to sit-in Wednesday morning through Thursday to get their message across that their “No fly, no  buy” bill should pass. This bill would prevent individuals who are on a terrorist watch list to purchase a gun or guns. However, Ryan made this about Democrats pulling a political stunt to try to raise money off a tragedy (the horrible, tragic event in Orlando killing forty nine individuals and injuring fifty-three that were celebrating their lives at the LGBT nightclub, Pulse).

I find what Paul Ryan says is a continued legacy of cultural racism in our country. I would like to address Paul Ryan about his responses and how his words continue a legacy of cultural racism in our country.

Dear Paul Ryan,

This is not about Democrats pulling a stunt. This is about you practicing aspect of colorblind racism called cultural racism.

You have explained away in your outrage about “how dare Democrats sit-in to demand that their bill be passed: “‘This is Congress. [. . .]The House of Representatives! Oldest democracy in the world, and they’re descending it into chaos. I don’t think this should be a very proud moment for democracy or the people who staged these stunts’” ((http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/paul-ryan-democrats-sit-in_us_576c084ee4b0b489bb0c9b02). When you talk about “for the people who staged these stunts,” you mean John Lewis, right? You mean John Lewis who was a vital member of SNCC in the 1960s, right? John Lewis is the one who led the sit-in this past Wednesday, right? The rest of the Democrats followed his lead, right? Paul Ryan, your words are reinforcing and continuing the white supremacy that George Wallace and Lester Maddox practiced during their governing administrations in 1960s by identifying as segregationists. They continued Jim Crow laws in Alabama and Georgia, and many Blacks and Whites who were anti-racists activists were murdered for standing up for Blacks to insure that Blacks were able to have their freedoms. Paul Ryan, you say that you aren’t a racist, but you stated in an interview conducted by Bill Bennett from Morning in America that you “linked poverty to ‘this tailspin of culture, in our inner cities in particular, of men not working and just generations of men not even thinking about working or learning the value and the culture of work.’” (” (http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2014/03/is-paul-ryan-racist-104687))

Well, how colorblind racism is that? Do you really think that you are talking about white men and men of color in that statement? You minimize your racist statement by retracting that race did not cross your mind, so who in the hell are you talking about when you use phrases like “poverty,” “inner cities,” “generations of men not even thinking about working or learning the value and culture of work?” You are fooling yourself if you think that came across as all American men. You did not have to say that it was men of color that did not know the value of work. Your descriptions in the same sentence point to it was men of color. Your statement evidently describes men of color, and it also signals to other white folks that you aren’t talking about white men. But to us, people of color like me? It signals that you are talking about black males. Black Americans are associated with inner city poverty. White folks are not described as such; they are discussed in the manner of “suburbia,” “the city life,” “working hard,” etc.

So, your reputation precedes you in your latest comments about “Democrats” making a disgrace to Congress and The House of Representatives for doing a sit-in as a publicity stunt to make money off the Orlando victims. For the past several decades, Democrats have a history of championing Black American causes. When you are talking about the “people who staged these stunts,” how dare you speak of setting a precedent when you continue to contribute to White supremacy by practicing cultural racism and speaking and saying that black folks pull these stunts—and the folks who aren’t black are race traitors for following them. John Lewis knows what is like for people of color to get killed by guns due to motivate racial violence. He stands on that floor knowing that the Orlando victims were killed due to an act of violence motivated by hatred. John Lewis doesn’t just sit-in for publicity stunts. John Lewis sits-in because it is his duty to continue to seek justice and to further fight for all Americans to exercise their freedoms in our country.

Paul Ryan, I call to action that you need to get schooled on Whiteness and White Privilege. I am sure that you wouldn’t because you are too deep into the system of Whiteness. Since I don’t believe you would do it, I challenge all other white people who are clouded by white privilege that contributed to White Supremacy to take a course in Whiteness and White Privilege. Or a multicultural course. Or could you all make time to read any of Tim Wise’s books? Or I double challenge you to step into the Other’s shoes? What about reading Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Michael Eric Dyson, Melissa Harris-Perry, or Brother Cornel West? Don’t worry. If you check all that I mention out, I am sure that there is something I kind find you to enlighten you on your white privilege.

As for you, Paul Ryan, instead of you reading all that Ayn Rand and objectivism, you need to get real and start reading about people of color. You are obviously minimizing your racism due to the white privilege you possess that contributes to the ongoing white supremacy in this country. You have no respect for John Lewis and people of color by calling us “people who pull these stunts.” Get with it, Friend. You fall right in line with your predecessors, Wallace and Maddox. They said, too, that John, Martin, and the rest of the freedom fighters in the Civil Rights Movement…their sit-ins were publicity stunts as well.

What you fail to realize is that our publicity stunts are calls to action. And John Lewis and Co. are transforming the White House. Didn’t we do that when we elected President Barack Obama?

From a Black Cisgender Feminist,
S