I learn from “The Truth Comes Out” about how Tori has a difficult time grappling with this happening to her even though she lets pieces of information out about how she thought in the back of her mind that Dean would eventually cheat.
I believe the more that Tori is exposed to the reality of her marriage was in crisis long before the cheating, the more she realizes that her marriage was not the fairytale that she wanted it to be. To truly understand why this happened, she will need to take responsibility in how her marriage started (and that is seen in the last episodes and the second season’s episodes as well). Again, her marriage to Dean was based on having an affair with Dean while of them were married. The reality is that their relationship was emerged from a foundation of both of them hurting their former spouses. Even if the fairytales were reality, Tori and Dean already broke the foundational standards on how an honest relationship starts. To me, an individual can commit to another individual if he/she doesn’t deal with it completely in how they hurt the other person. Falling in love and having a connection is not enough to when both people have not faced the complete reality in what they did in their former marriages/relationships. I hope what Tori has realized after this docuseries has aired is that an individual is better in accepting the reality of a situation instead of holding on to what they think a situation and/or person should be.
What was striking was when Dean and Tori had their first therapy session as a couple after the affair with Dr. Lisa Wexler. Dr. Wexler told Dean that he will need to listen to Tori and support her feelings when she expresses how she feels about him cheating on her. Dean launches into how he feels and how worthless he felt at the time—even admitting that he wanted to commit suicide. In this episode, he has a long way to go because he does make it about him. However, I don’t expect him to all the sudden change. A person cannot change after one therapy session. The reason why it is called therapy is to give people the tools that they need so they can keep recovering from the bad choices they make.
This applies to Tori as well. The bad choices that Tori has made is to internalize her feelings. Dr. Wexler encourages her to make sure that she expresses her feelings about the affair. Tori is not just a mother and a wife. She is a human being, and she needs the tools to recover from the emotional pain of keeping silent about her feelings. In the beginning of the episode, Tori and Dr. Wexler talk about how Tori has to find her voice. Not only for her sake but for her two daughter’s sakes, Stella and Hattie. As a daughter myself, I know how that feels. Dr. Wexler telling Tori that children mimic their parents is right. I was mimicking some of my mom’s ways and didn’t even know it until I was older, and it done on me. To break any cycle, we have to recognize what we do to others is an outward expression of how we feel about ourselves internally.